"sorry i can't unhinge my jaw like a snake to consume alcohol."

"how do you know?"
"came to me in a dream. i was naked. you would have loved it. start packing."

“i do believe in killing the messenger. you know why? because it sends a message.”

"i'm worried. jeremy’s smoking again."
"is his stash any good?"

"is she hot?"
"yeah but she can be weird."
"hot trumps weird. trust me."

"i can't believe Kol was a vampire."
"well, didn't you find it weird you made a friend so fast? have you met you?"

"the next time we complel him remind me to make him better at baseball."

"we'll talk when i get back."
"give my regards to the squirrels."

"aren't you afraid that one day all the forest animals are going to band together and fight back? i mean, surely they talk."

"'dear diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. i told him it was joe. that lie will haunt me forever'."

"clearly you want to die, otherwise you wouldn’t be here, so..."
"what can i say? i'm a thrill seeker."

"you know, if you want to see me naked all you have to do is ask."

"aaah! i'm shocked! stefan's not a virgin?"

"hey, hey, hey. easy on the hand. the guy's a quarterback."

"sorry i killed you. twice."

"my subconscious is haunting me, ric. please tell me you have something for that."
"double shot."

"[ric] we were badass."

"are you telling me your vampire hating alter ego has a stake that can kill an entire line of vampires, possibly mine?"
"that's exactly what i'm telling you."

"ric, the world can't stop just because you're an accidental psycho killer."

Love me some snark.

Also... Here's to you, awesome bromance that was the glorious Alaric/Damon union! You were the real reason I watched this show. WHY DIDN'T THE WRITERS DO MORE FOR YOU GODDAMNIT. You shall be missed. Many single tears.

is happening to storm-artists?

It's like a whole shit-ton of preteens just highjacked the site recently, bad art and all.

"What's bad art? Isn't it subjective?" Derp, derp, derp.

It's my subjective opinion that the majority of art being unloaded on this site lately is subjective shit, drawn by subjectively idiot kids, half-assedly, just so their subjectively idiot friends can (subjectively) dump a pile of faves and stars on each other's subjectively shitty works of shit. Just so they can appear in the weekly showcase. It's just that important to them.

Just taking a look at the weekly showcase makes my head hurt. Oh unreliable, fickle system, why have you forsaken me? Perhaps they should switch to having the mods for each gallery pick a piece they feel is a good representation of that particular gallery for that week and showcase that instead. Ya know, instead of the amount of stars+faves=showcase. If a clique of friends decide to just constantly ass-pat each other we get... well, what's in the showcase for the last few weeks (barring a few actual good ones lost in-between).

I'm noticing a repeat offender, too. Silly little Brit. Why do I get the feeling that the girls who appear in a negative light in his comics are all the girls who wouldn't give his sad ass the time of day in school? Oh and delightful attempts at totally original and current humor! White guys can't be rappers says the totally not stereotypical black guy! Wow. Inspired political jokes that he totally didn't usurp from other places! Totally original sprites that weren't made with other preexisting bases...at all! My god. This kid's a gold mine of comic genius.

Forget everything I just wrote.

I want this kid to get more weekly showcases. This is very amusing.

meh. some more small drabbles. would explain more, but really? why bother at this point. posted as is, not much added to it. will expand one day. oh fuck. i'm explaining.